Here is the gorgeous Birth Story of Lauren and Steve, a potent and beautiful example of what happens when you embrace your present, prepare and support yourself with a DREAM birth Team, and do the ground work to enable deep TRUST and SELF BELIEF to guide you.
I met Lauren and Steve, in the summer of 2020, together we dived into some virtual birth preparation and had the pleasure of Laurens amazing Mother, join us for one session.
Enjoy reading their beautiful Birth Experience.
Lauren and Steve’s Birth Story
Steve and I made the decision to have a home birth around 28 weeks -
they'd just been reinstated, and so after a lot of discussion, we felt
like it would be the place that felt the safest and where we were
could create the environment most conducive to the calm, physiological
birth we hoped for. Around this time we also considered getting a
doula, as we also assumed my parents would not be able to make it over
from the US to be here for the birth (my mom had been planning to be
my second birth partner). Luckily, they were able to make it over in
time to quarantine and still move in with us well in advance of our
September 20 due date and with enough time for us to savor some time
together before the sweetness and chaos of a newborn joined the mix.
Even though Steve and I had been through a fairly straightforward and
positive labor and delivery before, we'd never had a baby at home and
wanted a few more tools in our toolbelt to help us prepare this time
around, so we reached out to Tessa for some antenatal prep work.
WAITING FOR BABY - RELAX RELAX RELAX
I went past my due date with no signs of labor starting, but even as
the days continued to pass I felt incredibly relaxed (and not too
uncomfortable, thankfully) and knew the baby would arrive when he was
ready. I woke up on Thursday morning, September 24, feeling like I had
the flu. I couldn't keep anything in my system, and felt achy and
tired and super nauseous. I knew this could be a sign of impending
labor, but also knew it could still be a while off. Steve, on the
other hand, was convinced today was the day! I tried to rest in the
morning, then snoozed on and off while Rowan napped. When I woke up I
felt less nauseous, and as I headed downstairs I peeked into the study
and saw that Steve had gotten the office all set up for the midwives.
Regardless of when the baby decided to come, our flat was ready for
him.
That afternoon we all relaxed at home, and around 5:30 I felt the
first little twinge in my lower belly. Things were getting a little
chaotic, as dinner time with a toddler can be, so my parents did
dinner with Rowan while Steve and I went for a walk around the
neighbourhood. We only walked for 20 minutes or so, but I'll always
remember this time as really special - we held hands, we shared how
excited we were and reminded each other that we were so prepared for
this. Steve was mega pumped, and while I was excited to get the show
on the road and meet our boy, I was a bit nervous to go through the
intensity of labour again. As we started heading back home, my
contractions were still mild but Steve timed them just for fun - they
were only about 30 seconds long but coming regularly every 2 minutes.
When we got home, I kept thinking - I just have to make it to Rowan's
bedtime (7:30) and then I can relax. Around 6:30 I sat on the exercise
ball in our living room, rolled around for a bit, and when I stood up
I felt the familiar gush of my water breaking. With Rowan I soaked
through about 4 pairs of trousers before I figured out what was
happening, but this time I put in a maternity pad right away and
noticed meconium in the waters. This didn't alarm me, as the same
thing had happened with Rowan and we were still allowed to stay home
for 24 hours as it was light in colour and he was full term. I assumed
that would be the case this time, too. Around 7 we decided to call the
hospital just to let them know what was happening. Steve did bedtime
while I called triage - over and over and over. It was after 8 before
we finally got through, at which point they told us that we'd need to
come in so they could check the baby and that we wouldn't be able to
birth at home.
OWNING IT - MINDSET
Surprisingly, I was much less disappointed than I thought I'd be. My
predominant feeling was one of - well, if we have to have the baby at
the hospital, let's get to the hospital so we can have the baby!
Contractions were still very mild at this point, but I just wanted to
get there and get settled so I could get in the zone for when things
started to ramp up. We called a taxi and promised my mom we'd call her
when it was okay to come up.
All the way to the hospital Steve and I did long, slow breaths
together. Once we got to triage, Steve had to wait outside while I
paced the waiting area, walking, breathing, trying to stay relaxed.
When we finally got called to the room, the midwife looked at the
meconium and said we wouldn't be allowed to go home and also wouldn't
be able to use the birth center. She asked to do a vaginal
examination, which I agreed to, and told me I was only 1 cm dilated.
At this point contractions were definitely more noticeable. I remember
looking down at the printout coming out of the CTG machine and seeing
her sticker '9:35 pm, 1 CM' and feeling a wave of tiredness. 'If I'm
only 1 cm, do I have the stamina to keep going all night?' I wondered.
After about 30 minutes of waiting, the midwife (who was so incredibly
sweet and thoughtful) walked us to the labour ward, where she'd found
us a room with a pool since she knew we'd originally wanted a
homebirth. She also mentioned that when she examined me she'd still
felt some membrane so she'd have our midwife do another check and
break the rest of my waters, a suggestion I didn't like and told Steve
as much. I trusted that things would progress as they should, and
didn't want to make things any faster or more intense than they
already were.
RAD BIRTH TEAM & OWNING THE BIRTH SPACE - A MUST!
By the time we got to the room I felt my contractions getting
stronger, and Steve immediately set about getting the room cozy -
harsh fluorescent lights off, twinkle lights on, relaxation tracks
playing. Our midwife arrived soon after and entered the room at full
volume, chatting away while I was in the middle of a contraction. I
don't even think I acknowledged her, but I did hear Steve talking
to her in a low voice, and from that point on she was much better
about keeping her voice quiet and conversation to a minimum. After the
next contraction she asked if she could hook me up to the CTG, and
told me I'd be able to stand but be confined to a small area. I
requested a wireless CTG, as I wanted to make use of walking around
the whole room and use the bath if I chose to. It took some time for
her to find one and get it set up, during which I paced and I could
hear Steve's deep, slow breaths which continually brought me back to
my own. After she put the CTG bands on me, I registered the midwife
saying that she would examine me and break the rest of my water -
thankfully, Steve declined on my behalf. Contractions were strong and
starting to take all my focus. Soon after my mom arrived, bringing
blankets from home which we draped over the end of the bed for me to
lean on during contractions. My preferred position (the ONLY way I was
comfortable) was standing, leaning forward on the end of the bed. My
mom and Steve took turns massaging my back, and we got through the
next hour or so like this. My midwife mentioned early on that the
baby's heart rate was dipping with each contraction, and told me that
they could only let this go on for 90 minutes before they'd have to
have a doctor come in and take a look. She also asked me multiple
times if I had any pressure or urge to push, but I felt absolutely no
urge.
TIME DISTORTIONS - BIRTH AIN’T LINEAR
I distinctly remember a clock above the bed, directly in front of me,
and I looked at it a number of times thinking, 'Man, it's only
10:30/11/11:30 pm and things are feeling pretty intense - can I do
this all night?' Eventually, probably around 11:30, I asked for gas
and air. I took a few glorious puffs and it definitely helped take the
edge off. But after about 6 or 7 more contractions, I asked to use the
bath. When I finally got in, the warm water felt amazing but I just
couldn't find a comfortable position during contractions and they were
really strong, so I felt a bit like a fish just writhing about and was
trying SO hard to keep my breath slow during each one. I was in the
bathroom alone, it was dark, and relaxation tracks were playing so
even though I wasn't especially comfortable, I decided to stay in this
little cocoon for a while.
Eventually my midwife came in and said that a doctor needed to examine
me as it had been 90 minutes. I opted to get out of the bath anyway as
I think I preferred gas and air. I remember as I was getting out of
the bath thinking - it's only been 90 minutes, we probably have so
long to go, and was pretty sure some significant intervention was in
our future. I had another few contractions with gas and air while
waiting for the doctor, and just as he arrived I felt the head drop
and like I really had to pee. I went to the toilet and couldn't pee,
but did have a bloody show. When I came out of the bathroom, I asked
the midwife if I could have an in-out catheter after the doctor
examined me and she looked at me like I was crazy (ha!).
TAKING CHARGE & INSTINCTUAL MOVEMENTS
The OB who came in to examine me was WONDERFUL. We only interacted
with him briefly, but he was immediately so friendly and so
collaborative. He asked to examine me, and said depending on the
outcome we could decide what to do together. I lay down on the bed,
felt one massive contraction, and IMMEDIATELY threw up and felt the
uncontrollable need to push. The Doctor quickly did his exam and said
he felt the baby's head right there and then 'You're all good to
push!' while giving Steve the double thumbs up. I was stunned, but
didn't have too much time to overthink things. My midwife said that we
needed to quickly get the baby out, as his heart rate continued to
drop even lower, and she and my mom held my legs while I pushed for a
few contractions on my side. I found it really uncomfortable and hated
being mand-handled, so I flipped over to my hands and knees, where I
could really feel my body working with the contractions and each push
felt much more powerful. 4 or 5 pushes later, Steve looked down to see
a little head sticking out, and then on the next push our Aiden Daer
was here!
He arrived at 12:29 a.m., less than three hours after I was told I was
only 1 cm. I think what is really obvious in retrospect is that even
though we weren't at home, I felt safe, protected, capable - and this
allowed my mind to get out of the way and just let my body do the
work. I was also able to be so much more present for this birth -
talking with Steve and my mom in between contractions, noticing what
was going on around me (Steve breathing with me, picking up and
repeating some of the affirmations) and I'm grateful to have had such
a clear head and fond memories, even though things progressed so
rapidly.
After Aiden's birth, our midwife left to complete her notes and we were
left alone with our tea and toast, the room still dim and cozy, the
hospital dark and quiet. Even though we weren't at home as we'd
intended to be, I felt the warm glow of that post-birth bubble, the
calm and the wonder and the gratitude that Aiden's birth had been such
a powerful, positive experience, that now he was safely here with us.
Finally, around 3:30 a.m. I was transferred to the postnatal ward in
the Birth Center (again, the midwives being especially thoughtful)
where I spent the rest of the night snuggling, feeding, and basking in
the newness of our tiny boy. It was heaven.
